Serious Frustration (Lulu)

I know we are doing the question thing....and I know I already posted my question for Bex...but I just gotta vent! If I don't I swear I will break something! Sorry for all the boohoo posts but it really seems to help me vent some and I figure if people dont feel like reading it they just dont have to!!!!

I have really been putting myself out there to fix this marriage. Even though EVERYTHING I ask for seems to be getting ignored! He says this is killing him and that he doesnt want this marriage to end....but then why does he seem to ignore everything I say!

The kids were gone for a couple of days and we tried to have a date night. It ended up being a night of complete silence...not to mention the fact that dinner was the only thing we did that didn't revolve around work (which I specifically said needed to be forgotten for the night because all we have become is work partners instead of marriage partners)!

I have tried communicating....I have tried to keep an open mind and push the hurt and angry feelings aside. We have both screwed up in this marriage and we BOTH need to work if we want to make it better! But tonight....tonight just PISSED me off!!

I thought we had a pretty good day (aside from the fact that he cant seem to take one day and forget work and chores)! Its Fathers Day...I know that its should be a dads choice for the day...but come on!!!! Shouldnt a dad want to spend the whole day with the family instead of doing chores and work! So anyway we had a little disagreement about that then moved on. We took the kids to the movies and saw Toy Story 3! It was so much fun. We even actually held hands during the movie! We laughed about a few things and spent the rest of the day together as a family. That was sooooo great!

All day he kept saying that the only work he had left to do was to run to the lot and move the rental trailers back behind the locked gates but that he was gonna wait till after the kids went to bed to do that. So I tucked the kids in bed and then we went outside to switch vehicles around...as I was trying to ask him about who had to leave first in the morning so that I would know which order to put the cars in he finally says "Oh well it really doesnt matter cuz I wasnt planning on coming home tonight"

SAY WHAT!!! Hold on....breathe....count to ten....don't blow up!

ME: Ok..."I take it you really werent going to tell me...so then I would worry about you and wonder if you are ok or not when ya dont show back up"

HIM: I really didnt think you cared all that much so what does it matter

Yep that was his response! He so does not get the mutual respect thing!! Just because we are having problems doesnt mean I dont care what happens to him! Not to mention the fact that this is soooooo not a 2 way street here! Why does he get to come and go as he chooses! Yes...I asked for a seperation....and he wouldnt give it to me....but that shouldnt mean that he can just not come home whenever he feels like it without having some consideration! And for those of you who know the whole situation you also know the other issues I have with this!!! I am sooo tired of those outsiders who only know his side of the story telling me that I need to try harder! I keep my mouth shut because I am trying to be respectful but it is getting harder and harder every day to do that when I am the only one giving respect and not receiving it in return!