My Turn to Bitch

Ok, listen closely Tink, because I am going to tell you something that I heard 1,378 times from Bex, but just didn't believe:

Divorce does NOT solve your problems with nasty ass husbands. They just stick around like determined germs whose sole purpose is to make your life harder.

NOT that I'm bitter. NOT me.

Fucking dh is going to NY again this week, leaving me with more schedule switching, more arguments, and more headaches. And what pisses me off is this: I have a job, too, jackass. One that just keeps getting harder and more stressful with every week. And that won't ease up until mid-April. For someone who thought ME working and bringing in MORE MONEY would solve all of our problems, he sure as Hell doesn't understand that I have a CAREER now, too. One that I am excelling at and need to devote time, too.

For crying out loud, his damn job and his damn traveling made my marriage suck. Now it makes divorce suck, too. Hate is a two letter word. And it starts with a d.

I need a fucking vacation. So Girlz, where y'all taking me????

One of our kids had a special day.....

I am SO different (Lulu)

Ok...so I did notice one thing about the pics and the new sayings. They really don't help me on my quest to being a bigger bitch! If you girlz notice I still look like the goody-too-shoes. The rest of you look like you could kick some serious ass and there I am....smiling and all. The 3 of you know the story behind the helping thing but everyone else will see it as me being nice and trying to help LOL!! Just so everyone knows....I was the one who did the serious ass kicking back in the day and I do have some pretty good arm muscles. (yes bex...I know they no longer look like man arms but they are still pretty big muscles LOL)

Stupid Snow (Sarah)

Dear God,

I have had enough snow. Please make it go away. I can only take this *independence* thing so far before throwing myself in front of a train is going to look like an attractive option.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Sarah

I Miss My Girlz (Sarah)

Yuck.

I hate being sick. And knowing that you were all out having a great time at Nelly's party last night while I was home coughing up a lung sucked.

I can't wait for Tuesday to hear all about it.

And to Tink: Fuck him. And you-know-who can stay home with her worthless father on Girl Night if she wishes. I'm positive after one or two weeks with having no fun with the other kids, she'll change her mind.... Sometimes I think the 9 kids really do feel like brothers and sisters and they fight like them, too. A little time away from them and she'll realize she misses them.

That was my bitch fest for the night. See you all soon.

Another funny conversation (Bex)

Ok, Lu's post reminded me of another funny conversation between the rats and one of the yahoos!

We are driving home from picking up the kids from Lu's house, and I also have the Rie-man, one of Zaad's yahoos... And we drive by the Big High School... Remember, Itchy is 9, Rie-man is almost 7, and Pooh is 3 1/2...

Itchy says: "One day I will be going to that school, and so will the Rie-man, and Mo, hey and even you Pooh"
Pooh says: "but I don't want to go there, I don't want to get bigger"
Itchy: "yeah, I don't want to get bigger either"
Me: "you know what guys, i don't want you to get any bigger or older either, cause that just means that I'm getting older... Let's just hit the pause button!"
Itchy: "Alrighty... I hit my pause button"
Me: "I hit my pause button"
Pooh as he starts getting very upset: "but I can't find my pause button, where is my pause button?"
Me: "wherever you want it to be; mine is my nose!"
Itchy: "my is the back of my head"
Me: "hey Rie-man, where is your pause button?"
Rie-man, with a big smile on his face: "you don't want to know!"
So I look in the rear-view mirror and Itchy is talking and laughing with the Rie-man
Itchy: "it's his weenis, mom!"

Yeah, thanks kid, like i couldn't figure that out without you explaining it to me!
Typical Rie-man!!!

Gotta love kids!!!

Oh...My Little Gray Hair (Lulu)

You just gotta love a kids reasoning. And then its very hard to defend the child thats getting picked on when they....well you'll see.

So we are all leaving the girl scout meeting yesterday when the following conversation ensues *We being myself, my little gray hair, Bex's rats, and the Rie-man*

Itch (to Lea) -NO FAIR!!! I wanted the front seat. Why did you climb up there first!
LGH- I was faster! And besides I get the front seat because I am smart and beautiful (as she does the whole hair flicking thing)
Itch - No your not
LGH - I know I am smart and beautiful and because you don't then see...I know more than you so I am smarter
Itch - No your not
Reese - Lea you are worth alot. You are worth 9
Itch - HA! SEE YOUR WORTH NOTHIN CUZ $9 ISN'T VERY MUCH
LGH - See I am smarter because I know he meant $9 gazillion and you didn't

then the whole back and forth thing started of Lea saying yes and itchy saying no. Now comes the part where its hard to argue w/ Lea.

As they are arguing I say "Oh look...my favorite song is on" and I proceed to turn up the radio. All three boys in the back seat actually start to look out the window in search of why I said "LOOK" Lea then looks at me and says "see mom...I am smarter....I didn't actually *LOOK* out the window for anything!"

How the Girlz Work (Sarah)

Ok, my turn. I figured I'd give my two cents on the subject:

I will start with my sister, Bex, because I have known her the longest. You know, a sister relationship can be a tricky thing. We had two very different types of families to look at for examples, the Bump's and G-ma's. And the two couldn't be more different if they tried. Our father's side was always bickering with each other and my mom's side was as close and 6 siblings with some 17-18 (I lost count) children could be.

Growing up, I would categorize the Bex and I as having a very typical sisterhood. Best friends and worst enemies. Often in the same day. Seriously. Our favorite quote was "You were unavailable for consultation" (Pretty Woman) when one of us discovered we had *borrowed* something of the other's. We grew closer as we got older, but I think the event that sealed our relationship as *best friends forever no matter what* was the death our grandfather, the Bump's dad. This single event sent that entire side of the family into fighting and bitter bickering like you would not believe. It was then that Bex, Topher and I decided that NO MATTER WHAT, we would NEVER treat each other like that. And, as Lu says, the rest is history.

Then there is Lulu. Like she said, we met when I lived right next door to where she still lives. Emerson was going through Hell with his heart, then only 4 weeks old, and well, suffice it to say, a friend was the perfect remedy to those long, stressful, hurting days. And yes, when he came home, he spent many hours resting on Lulu's belly (with little Lea inside) while I struggled as a new mom.

Lulu is the kindest soul I know. She gets it from her mother (and father, but her mother mostly). What Lulu failed to mention is that part of what bonded us was that her parents had lost a son to leukemia long before I had met her. She knew what it was like to go through such a struggle as we were going through with Emerson. Much like my family adopted her, her's adopted me. For she and her mother truly knew what I was going through. (Fucking tears!)
And through surgeries, divorces, rehabs, rough marriages, parenting, barn burnings, etc, we have been here for each other.

Tink is our latest edition. Lulu sucked her into our fold and before she knew what hit her, she was one of us. The first time I met Tink was at Itchy's football game where Lea was cheerleading. All I really remember from that night is two things: 1. that she laughed a lot which I instantly loved and 2. she was just as sarcastic and loud mouthed as me. It was kind of like finding a soul mate, one with a really great cussing vocabulary.

Tink lets you in slowly, she doesn't trust easily and she rarely shares what she is *feeling*. But once you get her going, you kind of wish she'd just calm down. (Just kidding, Tink.) We haven't gone through *years* together, but she's been with me through my divorce and now we are with her through hers. And nothing seals women together like men-hating. Right, y'all?

And that, my friends, is how the Girlz work in my words.

How the Girlz Work (Lulu)

*disclaimer - ok girlz...I had a sappy moment today so if your not in the mood for sappy don't read!
I was talking to a friend of mine today about all the stuff us girlz have done this week....or have yet to do...when she said "How do you girls do it" At first I thought she was asking how we do all this hectic stuff. I was quickly corrected and she asked "No, I mean how do you get together all the time and not kill each other?" I discovered it really wasn't easy to put into words just how we work. So I did the best I could to describe "us" and what each girl brings to our little group.

Let me start with Zaad (Sarah) since I have known her the longest out of the 3 girlz. I met Sarah when I moved into my house. Emerson hadn't come home from the hospital yet and I was pregnant with the little gray hair. It was as simple of a meeting as it could get. I was outside and noticed her outside as well. I simply asked "Are you the one that just had the baby?" And the rest is history. I spent quite a bit of time holding Emerson on my pregnant belly after that.

Zaad has an amazing sense of humor and wit. She is very artsy fartsy and I love that cuz I enjoy the arts. She is also brutally honest. You never have to wonder what she says behind your back cuz if she's got a problem with something she will let ya know. And that is a good thing. No matter where life takes her she holds on to that wit and humor. And of the 3 of them she is probably the closest to me when it comes to being emotional. (Although I think most of the time I hold the crown on that one...I cry at Disney movies for goodness gracious!) I am very proud of her for becoming more independent and realizing she is stronger than she has realized in the past.

Not long after meeting Zaad, she introduced me to Bex. If I remember correctly I had already had Lea and she was still pregnant for Mitchell. Thats when the sisterhood began. We spent a lot of time scrapbooking and enjoying time together with the kids. They quickly made me feel like I was a part of their family. As I recall, when they introduced me to their parents they introduced them as mom and dad. I didn't even know their names for a long time.

Bex is amazing. She is the only person I know that can do all of the things she does without having to be committed to an insane asylum. She is very driven and goes after what she wants in life. I often wish I could be that focused. And even with a schedule that no one else would want, she still finds time for her family and us girlz. I dont think there have been very many times that she wasnt available when I needed her. Biggest thing of all is that even with all the serious stuff she has going on in her life she always remembers to laugh. I often think that it has trickled down to her children because both of them have infectious laughs. She is also a very good listener. She knows that sometimes I just need to vent. I don't need advice or lectures....just an ear.

I met Tink when my little gray hair was in her second year of preschool and her oldest was in Lea's class. Julie was a shy little girl who clung to my lap every day (you would never know it today!!!) We hit it off pretty quickly. Our girls became best friends and were in the same class for several years in a row. Tink knows how to have fun. It doesnt matter if you are at the bar or freezing selling girl scout cookies....she can make any event fun. She also has a serious side to her that most people dont often get to see. When we talk she is very understanding and gives really good advice when I need it. I also think she is very strong. It takes a lot to make that girl cry. (Her and Bex are pretty much twins in that one). It is so hard to believe that is was less than a year ago that she became part of the sisterhood. It just feels like it has always been that way.

All 3 of them also share this in common.....They never judge. Plain and simple. Our friendship is unconditional. And just like their kids are like my own.....I know that my kids are theirs. We pretty much parent the same. And we can all see our own faults and accept them!

An Unperfect Field Trip (Sarah)

Today was as close to perfect as it could get for me. If I'd had my yahoos with me, I'd have considered it perfect.

The Girlz and The Kidz went on a field trip today to Dave and Buster's (that sentence was included solely in case more than just us girlz read this....as if...). It was all full of The CHAOS: loud and confused children + loud and confusing arcade = the loud and confusing CHAOS. Bright lights, dizzying smiles, laughter ringing...oh, it was so much fun! I enjoyed every happy moment of it!

So much so that I came home happy and ready to *get organized* (yes, that was my general goal of the afternoon) and despite that during this I came into a huge fat (RED ALERT) expensive mistake of my part, (student loans...apparently I had 2 different ones, and I'd only deferred one, letting one go into default (it's not my fault, I'd never done this before..)...) aaahhhhhhh! I am still considering today as *near perfect*.

And this evening filled with a lot of good solitude.

My Valentine (Lulu)

Today was a great Valentines...And not because of a material gift!

It started of by spending some time with one of my girlz. Yeah we may have been sitting in the cold selling girl scout cookies but when you are with Tink everything is a laugh riot! She made a new CD with just about all of my current favorite songs on it so we got to crank up the tunes and have fun.

I was then able to see my husband for a bit and then spend some time with my gray hairs (yes that is what I have decided to call my children) and laugh my ass off listening to my biggest gray hair (who is 1 month shy of 16) try to sing songs on RockBand.

It was then followed up by the best part....me time! The gray hairs went to other peoples houses and the hubby is still working on his new car project. Which equates to complete peace and quite while I sit on my computer with no interruptions. Even the dog is sleeping on the little gray hairs bed which means even she isn't bugging me.

Life is Grand

A Refuge, and A Warm Shoulder

I am very lucky this Valentine's Day to have a very warm shoulder to lay my head on. I know that I am lucky, because the rest of my girlz are each struggling right now (although off and on for some of them) with their relationships.

What makes me appreciate TM the most right now?

That after running into my sister at Meijer's and talking for a few minutes, I made an off-handed comment that I wish my house were bigger so that I could host girl nights for awhile. For the main reason of releasing the burden off my Bex. (Who, btw, does NOT think of US as a burden, but, well, there are issues in her house that she has to deal with because of us.)

And you know what TM said?

"We can make your house work."

So we drove right home, rearranged my laundry room (re: moved boxes that were sitting there for 4 months out of the fucking way) and moved my actual TABLE with actual CHAIRS out from the freezing sunroom and INTO the laundry room.

It looks great and is totally suitable for entertaining. Entertaining that does NOT require fitting two tv tables together in the middle of shoes and coats. Of course, its not as big or as nice as Bex's, but it's here now, if we need it. Kind of like a refuge...

So for my Valentine's Day, my boyfriend actually helped my see my GIRLZ at MY house. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter gift.

I also dig him because when he jokingly says he is 4th in my life (yahoos, family, GIRLZ, him), I just nod and say "sorry" and laugh. And he's fine with it. .... I think.

We Need Help (Sarah)

Dear God,

We need help. Can you please send us one *LIFE GPS*, one *extra free day* of the week, and one car that *both runs and drives(?)* preferably one that seats 9 children and 4 girlz?

Thanks, I knew you'd understand.

Love Always,
Sarah

P.S. I've been really good, keeping my New's Years Resolution and everything. Nevermind. Bad example.

I need help! (Bex)

I need help!

There is not enough time in a week for me... I have so much to do and I am starting to feel overwhelmed...

Here's my list that I should have/did get done this week... and next week:
1. do my taxes (started, but have not completed)
2. do my schoolwork (which consists of 50 pages for ea class, 3 classes)(started but did not complete this week, and will need to start a new 50 pages for each class starting sunday)
3. Snow day... (was the best snow day... we went sledding)
4. Skate lessons (for Itchy on Mondays)
5. Work 24 hours (2- 12 hour shifts or 3-8 hour shifts)(mostly thurs and sundays)
6. Pooh has preschool on mondays and wednesdays
7. girl night
8. Classes and school meetings (thursday thru sat)(which i am contemplating not going this week because not prepared...)
9. clean house and laundry
10. plan a trip for me and the pot stirrer (which i can't realy do until taxes are done
11. spend time with family (because i don't see them that much this semester)(which i did wed evening and plan on sat evening)
12. Homework with itchy
13. Lie on the couch and moan that this semester sucks....

Funny, listing it out doesn't make it seem like too much... but this week i have not been able to allocate my time wisely. I can't find time to do the taxes, my school work and keep the house clean...

Ugh... Can I request an extra day this week... preferably a 2nd sunday to get some of this done??

Please!

Score One For Me (Lulu)

Ok so this blog goes out to Bex...AKA Queen B (she didnt get that nickname for nothing ya know). So I have said a few times that I am working on being a bigger bitch. I am tired of being nice. I discovered this while playing true colors with the girls. Especially after they decided I could never be a CIA agent cuz' I would spend my whole time worrying about getting caught.

So today Bex, Tink, and I were discussing a camping trip they want to plan....which happens to be during one of my art fair weekends. Its not like its a new one I am planning on doing. I have done it for 3 years and its always the same weekend in August. Of course Becky had to roll her eyes about this. So as we were yelling at each other about it (cuz ya have to yell when all 3 of us are talking at the same time) I finally said "I always rearrange my schedule for everyone else!"

Here's the good part....Bex actually admitted that I had a good point and SHE ACTUALLY FELT A LITTLE BAD! Of course she followed it up with a comment about how if I pushed it she would say fuck it. But who cares...I actually made the Queen B admit to feeling a little bad!!

I had to post it because she claimed she would deny ever saying it but we both know how it went down ..... Right Bex! So score a point for me in my quest to be a bitch

Shoveling Snow Sucks Ass (Sarah)

Ok, so I realize that I'm on this "I can do everything that a man can do" kick, but really, I thought I was going to skate this winter on doing that one-time snow shoveling thing to prove my accomplishment. Because this winter had been fairly mild, snow-wise anyways.

But *HOLY SHIT* and *FUCK ME*.

Did you even know that snow comes in various weights? (Ok, yes, I did know that, too. I just never cared.) Talk about heavy, wet, thick snow. I can't feel my biceps. But I looked in the mirror and they are still there. Probably bigger than ever.

And yes, I could have bribed TM to do it again, but like I said, I'm still on this "see how I've grown? see how many things I can do by myself?" kick, that, let me tell ya, is fading by the shovel full.

This is not my driveway. This is the one directly across from mine.

This is my driveway. As you can see, I do not own a snowblower. And I obviously suck at shoveling.

And so I have decided this:

Independence is over-rated.

Our Very First Guest Post (Bumpa)

Ok, Dad, I liked your list so much, I published it as a post. So that makes you our very first guest poster, ever!!! You win....nothing. Well except for fame and awesomeness. And hey, if you ever want to write a post for me, send me one through email!!!

And thank you for participating, I love your list. (Even though you broke the goddamm rules, there always has to be ONE, doesn't there?!?) (And Yes, I'M YELLING!)


5 Things I am grateful for:
1) A relatively new camper and truck
2) A partner that enjoys going with me on trips.
3) Four wonderful grandsons. (Even with my short temper, I cannot wait to see them again)
4)EBAY
5) The opportunity to restore my Dads 46 Willys 5b) Two great guys that are helping me do just that.
6) A wonderful extended family that I am proud to say are friends of mine, as well as my kids.
7)Two great daughters that are doing the best they can to survive this tough world!
8)And my son, though sometimes difficult to handle, he still means a greeat deal to me. I never tell him enough, but he has to understand my feelings fom him.
9) My job. Even though the most stressful and unrewarding ($$$$) job in my life, it beats the alternative!
10) And last but not least, I am grateful that I am old enough to break some silly rule about five things, (blah blah blah) and not get yelled at about it!

BUMP

The Crossroads (Lulu)

I have come to a conclusion! I read the comments that were posted (see I need a GPS) and spent quite a bit of time talking to Tink and I came up with what I think is a very good decision. So here goes.

I know that there is a crossroad up ahead and when I get there I will have to decide which way to go. But ya know what? I am no where near ready to make any choices or to even face them at this point, so I'm not gonna. Every long road trip requires a rest stop and that is exactly what I am gonna do. I am going to stop and smell those roses.

I am going to let the kids have fun and I am going to stretch my legs a little. I have spent so much time worring about the rain that comes and goes, and doing my best to out run it, and I am tired of it.

When the rain comes down I am not going to focus on the fact that the sun has dissappeared. Instead I am going to teach my kids how to run and play in the rain. And if it rains to hard then I know that my friends will have lots of umbrellas for us.

I don't have an itinerary that tells me I have to be there by a certain time so I am going to quit trying to rush it. When I finally decide I am ready to face the crossroad then I will pile the kids back in the car and move forward.

as a little side note for Sarah....We all know that grammer/English has never been my strong suit so if the paragraphing is not right then KISS MY ASS!!! Especially since we all know who ya all go to when you need a human calculator or an answer to a crossword puzzle....just sayin'

My Gratitude (Bex)

Ok, ok... here goes...
5 things I am grateful for:

1. This is my last year of law school
2. I have the two most beautiful boy children in the world.
3. Law school has done wonders for my figure.
4. I get a fat ass paycheck!!! I may have to punch a time clock... but the paycheck is worth it!
5. Tim Horton's coffee, XL, 3 creams, 2 sugars and a shot of butter caramel!

My Gratitude (Lulu)

Girl scout camp was a blast with Tink. Yeah the other parents were a real pain in the ass but oh well...what ya gonna do. We played and danced with the girls and made complete fools out of ourselves but at least we can say that all in all we did our best to make sure ALL of the girls had a good time.

Here are the things I am grateful for:

1. My kids have really big hearts and I don't think that is something that can be taught
2. I don't have to punch a time clock so I am able to be there whenever my kids need me
3. Caffeine
4. I got home from girl scout camp and my son had the house picked up and laundry done so all I have to do is rest
5. I have 2 parents who love me unconditionally

Forcing Gratitude (Sarah)

I'm throwing down the gauntlet (is that the right saying? typing it suddenly made me think I have it wrong. oh hell. who cares?)

I am challenging my Girlz (including me) to post a gratitude list with 5 things. Because I think we all need it. And saying you are grateful for the Girlz isn't going to count, because that is a given. Which makes that cheating.

(And loyal and adoring readers, please feel free to accept the challenge in the form of a comment.)

Here are the things that make me smile:

1. I have a very sweet man in my life.
2. My kids know how to smile despite the life they have had to live.
3. My job makes me feel *successful*.
4. iTunes and iPods.
5. I paid my bills AND put money in my savings account (for now).

What are YOU grateful for?

Only ONE SuperMom left! (Bex)

Ok so I was going to let Lulu post this one, but I waited and waited... and no post from her so here goes...

Lulu and I have this arrangement... I work and go to school and I pay her to care for my boys! Now there are few people I entrust the lives of my children, so wholeheartedly... that I seriously go do what I need to and don't give any worries about them!
Anyway, I give her a schedule a month ahead of time and it's posted on her fridge. Today I show up to her house to drop off the little man so I can go to school... And Tink's car is there, but Lu's is not. So, I think, "oh, she must have had to do something and had Tink cover her"... Little man and I walk in the house... And no one is there...
So, I stop myself from panicking... and send her a text and try to call her... she does not respond.
So, I send Tink a text... and guess who calls me... Lu! "Oh my god, is it that time already?"
Seriously, Lu? it's 11:30 in the morning... what do you mean is it that time already? (I think, not say)
"I'm at meijers with Tink and we will finish up real quick and be right there... blah, blah, blah.."
So, I say "that's ok, I'll bring him to you..."

So, yes there is only ONE supermom right now...
AND THAT's ME!!!!!!

because I haven't forgotten anyone's kids yet!

I Need a GPS (LULU)

I've decided I need a GPS for my life. I know where I want to end up but I just don't know quite how to get there. I was driving down this nice, smooth, beautiful highway and yes sometimes the scenery wasn't always so great but at least I knew where I was headed when all of the sudden BAM! the road was closed. For three years now I have been on this bumpy little dirt road with all these twists and turns. Every so often I catch a glimpse of that highway but I can never seem to find the entrance ramp to get back on. Not to mention I have 2 kids in the car and so I have to keep coming up with different things for them to do so that they remain oblivious to the fact that mom is completely lost. So now what do I do? Do I say FUCK IT and just look for a different highway or do I keep the faith that eventually I will find that elusive entrance ramp. With all of todays technology can't they invent a GPS for your life where you just punch in your destination and it tells you what choices to make in order to get there. In the mean time at least I can say I have great friends riding shotgun to make the road trip more interesting!

The Supers Vs. The Un-Supers (Sarah)

The supermoms: "Sure, I can get your kids, no problem." AND they will do this with a smile.

The un-supermoms: "Yes, I can get the kids. I'm here for you, too." And WE think *fuck, now my night is going to suck.*

The Supers: "I can do it all. Or, at least, I will die trying!" YAY YOU!

The Unsupers: "Fuck this. I'm taking a nap." YAY ME!

The Supers: "Who wants to bake cookies?" Why? Why? WHY I ask you, is this fun???

The Unsupers: "Who wants to buy donuts?" So very much easier. Seriously people.

The Supers: "My husband sucks, but I am going to get through it." (No comment here.)

The Unsupers: "Good riddance, you asshole." Yee-haw.

The Supers: "Let's take the kids on a field trip!" It'll be fun and we'll all be together!

The Unsupers: "Let's go out partying!" It'll be fun, we won't be with the kids!!!

Yes, Tink and I are the Unsupers. But I'm sure you all know, we just fine with it. I've said this before, and I'll say it again: Keep your expectations low and you get credit for really stupid shit. It's fucking awesome.

Lu, I think you're up. Just sayin'.

Repairing the Damage? (Bex)

After another great evening with the girlz... and the boys are in bed... I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet. Unusual for me. I thrive in chaos. My best work comes out under pressure and through unease.

Anyway... then the pot stirrer gets home from school and he comes over and sits in front of me and looks me in the face, completely serious.... and asks "How are you?" and i look completely dumbfounded and trying to figure out where there is going... He says "I mean are WE ok? I was thinking that after the last fight too much damage might have been done and is it repairable?" And he looked scared. to which i replied: "If it is what one wants, it can be overcome." And he held my hand and squeezed and didnt let go for awhile.

Which made me think... Can damage be repaired? Or do you always carry that pain like a statute carries a sign of crack that was superglued together?
I don't want to lose my husband. I don't want to lose the man i fell in love with.
I know he is still around; i see glimpses of him still here. One can put aside the mean, spiteful things that get said in a fight, right? Or do they just hide until needed for future use? If they stay hidden for future use, then what good does that do? to always bring up the past? Is the idea to forgive and forget and move on? I never have been good at that...

When I read TWM's post about his wife: and I fell in love again: reading that post reminded me of the days when my husband talked to me that way; we would have long conversations that were very poetic; and he was/is very passionate about somethings... and i would say that he even felt that passionate about me. Nowadays... it is hidden, if it is still there.

Freaking Pissed. (Sarah)

1. Sorry, ladies, we really have to change the back drop. What looked cool on Bex's laptop happens to be hard to read on my monitor....something about the white on the pure black backdrop....

and

2. I. HATE. DH.
For more details, just go here: DH SUX. I am too lazy to repost it.