Life With My Girls (Lulu)

ok so when Sarah suggested this blog thing I thought she was nuts, but I figured "what the hell" maybe it will be fun and/or helpful. And ya know what....I have already decided it is great. I am proud of Bex for writing and having the courage to do it. Sitting around w/ the girls today made me think ALOT! I have always been fortunate enough to have good friends in my life but this is the first time I have had a group. They are not just my friends but they are my everything. As we sat crying, talking, laughing.....yes we do those all in just a matter of minutes.....all I could think was that I am so lucky. I know that no matter how shitty things get I will ALWAYS have them and that I can get through anything as long as I have them. I also know that I will be there for them NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! Each one of us brings a different perspective to the table and we all have our own opinions but how many people can say that they can be totally truthful and honest with their friends without the fear of pissing someone off. I can say it! So thanx girls....you are my life

I Can't Breathe (Bex)

First, I want to send a huge thank you to TWM and Indigo. Your comments are truly appreciated and it's nice to "have followers"!

Indigo said it in her comment... Right now I can't breathe in my own home, I walk on eggshells, afraid when the next un-doing will happen... and then the weeks ensue to try to repair what was once fun, carefree and that I loved very much.
When the pot-stirrer and I met we had a lot of "us" time. My son, Itchy (who is 9), would visit with his dad every Wed and every other weekend. As with many things in life, things change... we had Pooh (who is now 3 1/2) [the 2 most wonderful boys in my life]... and for the first year of Pooh's life, there was the usual adjustment to another child in one's life. Then I went to law school, and yes continued to work as a nurse, and a mother and a wife, and blah, blah, blah. I thought I was super-woman. And yes, I can and do manage it all.

What i haven't figured out is how to manage my husband. For the last year things have been taking a downward spiral. I would like to think that I haven't changed that much (other than being busier)... but who knows...

During our latest explosion (last night)... Which started because me, him, Sarah, and DM were playing a new game (Quelf) and it is really silly and instead of asking him to sing a love song, I asked my sister's man to do it. Thinking it would be funny. However, according my husband, I humiliated him and disrespected him. and the fight began. He actually said to me... "you are disrespectful, totally disregard me and am not there emotionally for me". I am not disrespectful and my life revolves around making his life easier so he doesn't get upset. But you know what I may not be there emotionally anymore. I think I may be exhausted from always being the one to hold it together and right now the last thing i need to do is "pick up" someone else (and by someone else, i mean my husband, who is supposed to be there for me too; isn't that what a marriage is?). What about my needs? What about the issue that he thinks he that "he supports me" being in school; but he doesn't "support me"; in fact most days I am so wrapped up in trying not to upset him that i don't get much school/study time in.
we have a "good" life. we a beautiful house, wonderful kids, 2 working cars, we are both employed, and both in overall good health. what we lack in our "good" life is "like" for each other. And how the hell do you get that back? How do you make someone stop accusing you of being something you're not? How do you get through to someone 'all of this bullshit' is stuck in his head and not for real? so he's right. I am not there emotionally for him. his emotions are his problem right now.
i am fucking exhausted.
and i only touched on issues... my mind is rambling with thoughts and i apologize for any incoherency... hopefully i will be able dive into each issue in more depth....

Emergency Girl Meeting (Sarah)

Wow.

What a night. It started out as usual, all nice and fun. TM, Bex, the pot stirrer and I were playing a new game when BAM! out of nowhere, the pot stirrer flips out on Bex.

I don't understand this. None of us do. All I know is that my heart is aching for my sister right now and I worry about her and the pot stirrer. I wanted to take her home with me, keep her from the tears and anger that are sure to follow tonight. I understand and empathize with her frustrations yet I feel helpless.

I wished that Tink and and Lulu were there tonight because I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could think of was to call an emergency girlz meeting tomorrow at noon. I know we will all be here for her because that is what we do.

But tonight, well tonight, it's just sadness....

Tuesday

there doesn't seem to be enough tuesdays in my week... yesterday was a horrible day at work and the pot stirrer had class late so all i wanted was to call a girlz night .... but noooo... its thursday, a school night, and i had to work til 730, so i didnt even get home until 830 after picking up the rats... (yes, since shaharazads are the yahoos, mine are the rats; as in rugrats!).
so what am i thinking, girlz night ends at 800... i cant call a girlz night at 830....

ugh the life in the rat race!

OK GIRLZ

Here is our new blog!

We can pick templates and designs on Tuesdays.... I won't make any decisions without you guys. But here's my idea:

We each take a turn posting. Details later....