How do you spell moron?

Z-A-A-D.

I just typed my entire post for my other blog and hit publish and saw that it ended up here.

....sigh....

I had to cut it, paste it, re-format it and re-publish over there.

...sigh...

I am a moron. But HEY! Go look, lol.

It Will Happen To You Too Tink!!! (Lulu)

Ok so I came to a major realization this morning....Bex and Zaad have completely changed me. Bex is the girliest of us all....and Zaad....well her brutal honesty makes ya look twice. Where Bex may look at you and say "ummmm...that outfit has to go" Zaad would say "oh my god what the hell happened to you!! That is sooooo ugly!" Now we do love the honesty but let me explain what I mean. The following is "ME" before the two of them got ahold of me.

1. JEANS - the baggier the better cuz thats whats more comfy
2. T-SHIRTS - same as above
3. SKIRTS/DRESSES - only for weddings or funerals and even then I usually wore dress pants instead
4. HEELS - hhhhheeeeeelllllllllll NO!
5. MAKEUP - eeeewwwwwww too much work
6. HAIR - ponytail covered by a baseball hat
7. SHOPPING - only when absolutely necessary (which means just grocery shopping)

so now you get the basic idea about the old me. Now the new "ME"

1. JEANS - they better fit nice and btw....do these pants make my butt look big?
2. T-SHIRTS - there are 2 kinds. The old ugly baggy ones that are only to be worn around the house when you are working out AND nobody other than the family will see it. Then there are the cute ones that fit nice and show off the good parts about your body
3. SKIRTS/DRESSES - really cute and actually quite comfy....even when you are not even leaving the house and nobody else will see it.
4. HEELS - I actually own several pairs and don't fall on my face when wearing them anymore
5. MAKEUP - must have a minimum of mascara and eye liner before leaving the house
6. HAIR - whats a baseball cap? Hairspray, bed head, curling irons, hair dryers, and mousse are now my best friends and can't be lived without
7. SHOPPING - anyone ready to go? I haven't gone in a few days and I am going thru withdrawls

What made me realize the change was when I was running late for work but couldnt leave because I hadn't done my hair or makeup. Not to mention the fact that I had a mental struggle over what coat to wear. I have an old ugly one that used to be my daily coat but now is only used when I am doing something that will get it dirty. Well I had a dirty job to do at work but I didn't actually want to be SEEN in public with that thing on. I knew I had to stop at the store before work so I finally decided to wear my cute coat and put the ugly coat in the truck so I could change before doing the dirty job. What the hell happened to me?! Life was so much easier when I didn't care how I looked! yeah yeah I know the whole "look good, feel good" thing is true but damn! And ya know what.....I have already started to notice the suttle changes in Tink. Before ya know it they will have their claws fully into her as well!!! Oh well, what ya gonna do? Just accept it and move on I guess.

Ok, Ok, Ok... (Bex)

Alright, Already!

I will no longer step down; I will maintain the control I am accustomed to and obviously, you all are accustomed to!!!

I always get razzed about needing to be in control; and I had to prove to myself and you all that I could do it. And I did; I only slipped one time and that was what time the pizza needed to be at the house! And you guys (Zaad and Lu, Lu especially!) did fine, the party was a hit!

But as long as EVERYONE is in agreement... I will maintain control... It is my comfort zone after all!!!!

It Was A Very Happy Birthday (Zaad)

I about to write a letter to Rie for his birthday, it is a tradition that I started a couple of years ago and it will be posted on my other blog. But, I figured that my comment to Lu's blog would be long so I felt that I would just post something:

I thought we had a very successful party in every way possible. Both boys had a great time and I think all of the guests had a lot of fun.

But, HOLY SHIT, were Lulu and I like fish outta water!! Having us run a party without Bex being in control is like telling Lulu and I to fly a plane and not crash it. You want us to do what??

Yes, we are so used to Bex being the boss and in control that not only do we like it, we need it. And we rely on it. (Proof: when I move, Bex actually directs and unpacks my shit. NO, I am not kidding.) After about the third time I heard Bex say "It's not my party, it's just my house..." I wanted to say "YES! But you're YOU! And we don't function without instruction!!!"

But we did fine, I think. But in the future, jsyk, puhleeze just fill the role you were born into and tell us what to do and when. We don't mind. And in exchange, we will continue to tell you how damn skinny you look.

Everyone in agreement? I thought so.

Happy Birthday (Lulu)

Let me start by saying that I started out as a good mom....I took the camera....and I took pics....then I forgot to bring the camera home with me! So the pics will have to wait until I get my camera back.

So my big gray hair turns 16 on Monday!!! Today the girlz and I threw him a surprise (and yes we actually kept it a surprise) birthday party. And to make the day even better we also had the Rie-mans bday party as well!! Having everyone together to celebrate was the best feeling EVER!!

Unfortunately for Cody his birthday falls during a time of year when we are always broke. And I don't mean that moneys a little tight....I am talking about the can't even find a single penny broke and theres no food in the fridge broke. So for years I have always felt that he has gotten the shaft as far as birthday parties go. But thanks to the fact that our businesses are doing a little better and the fact that I have the BEST girlz in the world....Cody did not get screwed this year. Bex opened her house for the party and by doing both parties together I could split the cost.

The husbands were in rare form and not only behaved but actually had fun. And best of all the kids had an absolute blast. On the drive home my son actually said Thank you about a million times and kept saying it was so great and that it was the best birthday EVER!! It just made me feel so good that we could all make this major milestone for him special. Of course he kept bragging about how much money he got...which I know did not make Riley happy cuz he wanted the loot and even brought it to my attention that I did not give him any cash! But Bex made that all ok by giving him the BIG present so of course she is the #1 aunt!

I do have a little note for Bex though....You really don't have to give up control. None of us mind and damn!!! I am sooooo not good at this party planning shit and its a hell of a lot easier when you just tell us what to do! I did it and yes I am proud of myself but it really wont hurt my feelings if you just take over next time ok!

Thanks girlz for making this day so great for my boy. He is really special and he deserved to finally have a good birthday. You will never know just how much today meant to me to see him smile the way he was and to hear him be so excited that we had done all of this for him!

To be RIGHT... (bex)

Ok, so there was another blow-up at the Bex's household last night...

(thanks to Tink for letting Itchy spend the night, cause he was not there to listen to the fight; poor Pooh, tho...)

And thankfully I have a sister who lives only a mile away... because immediately after the explosion I decided to act like a man and leave... so I left the house and for a second when I was standing on the porch I had the thought "now what? where do I go?" and rest assured by the time i got to my car, I knew I was headed to my sista's!
[although, as a mom, i actually had a tinge of guilt for leaving Pooh with his Dad, something I don't usually do after a fight... Sorry Pooh!]

And, I am sorry to Brian, because everytime this happens with the Pot-Stirrer and I; I go to Zaad... and Brian is there... and unfortunately for him, he has to bear with my ranting and give us (Zaad and I) time for the Bitch Fest that ensues...

But, back to my title... I feels really good to know that I am right this time. It is not often, I admit, that I can admit that I am wrong; but, when I know I am right ... I know it! And, this time, I know it! I won't bore you with the details, but... there is a serious "Lack of Communication" problem. And it is not on my part. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I communicate. Maybe too much... but that is how i get through life. The pot-stirrer actually said "I was waiting for you to figure it out and to fix it"... and said it in a manner like he was right for testing me; like it is ok to withhold important emotions, or facts, just to see if the significant other can figure it out... And then get really mad when the other person doesn't figure it out... Cause guess what...

WE ARE NOT MIND READERS. I HAVE NEVER CLAIMED TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO SEE INTO ONE'S SOUL AND KNOW WHAT IS BOTHERING THEM...

There is such a calm about me now... (not last night, Zaad witnessed the shaking hands of anger) but I know inside me that I will not tolerate being tested. [Shit, like i am not tested enough? child with ADHD, law school, toddler... I am tested enough] I will NOT be tested by my own husband. That is not how TEAMWORK is done. Teamwork is done with cooperation, communication, and a willingness to want to work together NOT as adversaries.

Oh, to be right. It is such a pleasing, calming feeling.

AHHHHH...LIFE CAN GO ON! (LULU)

Now I feel I can function again. Why? Cuz I had my girlz night THATS WHY!!!!! I knew I was addicted....but didn't realize how bad until it had to be postponed by 2 WHOLE STUPID DAYS! Now I feel that things are in order again and that I wont strangle everyone who crosses my path. Life is good.

Dude (Zaad)

Messing with the night of Girlz night is disturbing my wa.

Big time.

Did y'all hear that? I said *Big Time*.

Need. Girl. Time. Now.

They never go away... (Bex)

Ex's...

Why can't they just go away?
Don't get me wrong I know why he never goes away; because I decided to reproduce with him. And don't get me wrong... I don't regret that decision... I love Itchy with all my heart, and never, ever, would I wish for Itchy not to be here.
But... why couldn't I have been one of those lucky souls that the ex disappeared?

I know, I know, the grass is always greener, and there are issues to deal with when the ex is not around or involved... but he makes my life hellish some days and this is one of those days...

Not that this is any proclamation that I will do anything or have anything to do with his disappearance, if that ever happens one day! (yes, that is my disclaimer!)

A man who has decided to be an every other weekend dad... has the audacity to try and tell me what I need to do; or that I am doing things wrong... He is not around... How the fuck does he know anything?

Ugh... I hate him. I do.

The Twilight Zone (Lulu)

So I realized today that I must be in one of those Twilight Zone Episodes. It started yesterday when Bex and I went to Old Navy. First of all I am the "Non Shopper" of the group. Never felt the NEED to shop like Bex. Sometimes I think that if she could find a way to use the excuse that "I was hungry so I NEEDED to shop"....she would. But yesterday we were at Zaads and Bex said "well I suppose if we are gonna go we better get going....If we really want to go" and it was said in one of those "I really dont want to go" ways. MY HEART ACTUALLY SANK!!! And like I said...I am not usually the shopper. But thanks to Zaad offering to take the boys we got to go to Old Navy. And I actually had so much fun!!!

Then this morning I was helping my little gray hair get ready for school when she came to show me her little surprise that her brother left for her. Taped to the bathroom mirror was a bracelet he had made her (not a girly one but still very cool) with a note that said "Lea, here is a bracelet I made you." And it was signed "Love, Cody" and he even wrote I "heart" you. Now I dont know about you but in the world I grew up in brothers NEVER did things like that for their little sisters.

So then I am on my way to work this morning and I am sitting in my Ford F250 which is a semi big truck and what goes past as I am waiting to make my turn but 5 mini vans. And they were all being driven by DADS and they all had kids in the back seat.

So now you see why I am in the Twilight Zone.

Yay For Creepiness (Zaad)

Totally read my *Daily Life Reading* or whatever it's called on Facebook today.

I posted it on the other blog. So go here and check it out, it totally was right-on accurate:

This Way To Weirdness.

A Great Day (Zaad)

So, today was great. You can read about it on my blog, so I won't bore you with the details here, but it was a great day. And then I came home to write and saw that Tink had written today, and that Bex had written the day before... and well... I got all mushy...

...again.

I love that you are all writing on here. I love that I can click on our blog and catch up with you guys by reading about your day, your night, your weekend.... And it just made my day so much better than it already was.

Thanks girlz. I love you.

New Idea (Bex)

Not to take over the question thing...

But...
We have been talking for some time about getting new tattoos...
Pooh and I were sitting and watching Bedtime Stories, a movie with Adam Sandler,(actually pretty cute!)... and Pooh and I were putting on tattoos... ya know the ones that come off in a few days...

And I put this butterfly on one leg and surrounded it with two stars... which made me think... I know what I want to do. I want to get a tattoo that signifies my friendship with my girlz... here's the catch, I am so NOT an artist. I want something that has four links, but different, to symbolize each of us in our own way. Also, I want to add 9 stars, to signify our 9 kids....

Anybody know an artist that would make a FREE design? Zaad, know any artists??? hmmmm....

And I am serious.

Bex

For Just A Moment (Lulu)

I have said so many times to my girlz that I am having a hard time this year with my kids growing up. My Biggest Gray Hair turns 16 in a couple weeks and it just amazes me how time flies!!

So Cody woke up yesterday with a fever. Now my boy doesn't run normal fevers...OH NO...when he runs a fever it ranges anywhere from 103 to 106. So as I was sitting there with him, taking his temp every 1/2 hour....I got to pretend he was my baby again. Now I know its not the same because he no longer fits on my lap (he's taller than me now) and I can't cradle him like a baby, but I did get to stroke his hair and kiss his forehead.

I would never wish my kids sick, and I am sure that by tomorrow he will be bugging me every 2 minutes to either check out his muscles or look at a new facial hair that he has discovered......But just for a moment I got to pretend he was little again and hold him...sort of....and just hold on to his youth.

My Answer...What a Year! (Zaad)

Ok, this is a tough one, because it has been quite the year. On June 7, it will have officially been one year since I was served with divorce papers, and this marks the absolute most eventful year of my life. Despite the fact that in my life, I have had many struggles (who hasn't?) including Emmo's heart and my alcoholism, this is still the year that has been the absolute most life-altering.

In deciding what I am most proud of, I had A LOT to think about, for I am proud of many things that I accomplished. My first thought was "the parent I have become" but then I decided that this was really isn't it because I sometimes feel that I still fall short. I do think that I have become stricter and more disciplined in my parenting, but since I have always loved my yahoos more than life itself, this hasn't changed all that much.

Then I thought of my house. I got myself a place to live and I did it on my own. I do have to thank Bex for forcing my head out of the sand and making me look for a house, but I am proud of this accomplishment. And the bills that I now pay - on time! But this isn't really what I am MOST proud of because, honestly, I always felt I had it in me. I was just never given the chance to be independent or make financial decisions.

Then I thought of all the small things: the shoveling, the housekeeping, the career (ok, this one ain't so small, but I will never, ever make my JOB be my life, period) and the whole staying sober thing. And again, I am thrilled with myself about these things, but....

The thing that I am MOST proud about is how I set up my life NOW: I am proud of the way I live my life and specifically, I am proud about who I surround myself with. This year, more than ever, I can say that I have successfully put myself in a position to have the absolute best support system ever. Because NONE of the things I have done this have truly been accomplished by me alone. I have the best family, and I have only gotten closer to them than ever before.

I have the best friends EVER. I know that I can call not only my GIRLZ but also a few good guy friends whenever (WHENEVER!) and for whatever reason that I want. I know that I am not alone. I know that I am supported and more importantly, that I am loved.

I have made an honest effort to evaluate who and what is important to me and have consciously tried to nurture those relationships. By far, I have made the biggest effort at seeing the Girlz and staying close to them all. Without you all, I would not have been able to do all these things. And in return, I am trying to be there for the people close to me, too. And I have made myself accountable, too, to these people. I make sure I see my friends and family every week, and I write on the days that I don't see them so they know I am OK.

THIS IS WHAT MAKES MY LIFE COMPLETE: THE PEOPLE IN IT.

Part 2
What do I think I still need to work on? My selfishness. I think this will be a life long struggle for me and I am NOT proud of that. I do try and take a step back and say *things are not always about me* but I know I could work on this FOREVER and still not be where I think I should be.

I tend to talk a lot (stop snickering) and I want to work on listening skills. I don't always have to be the center of attention. I don't always have to be the center of attention. I don't always....

If I just keep saying it, I surely will start to believe it right??

And I'm sure I've bored you enough, so I'll leave it that.

Oh, except this: the other thing I truly want to work on is NOT LETTING BEX GET SKINNIER THAN ME! Anyone have a granola bar? Anyone?

Thanks Lu, for the thought provoking question! And someone else should start the next round so we don't ask the same people questions - so one of you are up!

My Answer....Finally! (Lulu)

Sorry this took so long but for some reason my computer would not let me log on. I had to do some major cleaning on my computer before I could get anything to work.

I knew right away who influenced me the most but I really had a hard time figuring out a way to explain it. My brother, Mark, has definately influenced me the most even though he was in my life the shortest amount of time.

Mark was 16 and he passed away from Leukemia right before Christmas and my 12th birthday. Watching him go through all of that over a years time and seeing how he dealt with life really made me start to look at things differently.

He always had a smile on his face and never, EVER, complained. Right before he went into the coma for the last time we had a really long talk because we both knew it was only a matter of time and we decided it was time to say everything we needed to right then and there. I remember asking him if he was scared to die and the following was his response:

No, I am not scared. Everything happens for a reason. When I am gone, I don't want you to focus on the bad....I want you to look for that silver lining. There is a reason I got sick and you may not find out why for a long time but if you are patient, eventually you will see that some good will come from this. God will not give us more than we can handle so just remember that. As you grow in life I want you to hang on to that. For every bad situation you come across there will always be something good that comes out of it so just keep looking for the good things.

After he died my parents donated his body to leukemia research. And ya know what....they ended up finding an abnormality in his chromosomes that no doctor in the world had ever seen before. Because of that they came up with new treatments and have a much higher success rate now. When ever I start forgetting to look for the positive....somethings always happens to remind me.

About a year ago my mother and I met a man who survived the leukemia. He had the same abnormality as my brother. He also has 4 beautiful little girls that may not be here today if my brother had not passed away.

Now I live my life looking for the good in things. I also remember to be brave. If he could go through all that pain and keep on smiling than ya know what....so can I!!


Ok...so my question for Zaad!

You have gone through soooo many changes in the last year or so. I want to know which one you are proudest of and why? You cannot say the quitting drinking though because that would make this question to easy...And we are all proudest of you for that!! Part 2 (yes you have to answer 2 parts), what do you think you still need to work on and why?

Question for Lu (Bex)

Who has influenced you most in your life and how?

Look What I Made (Zaad)

So, I totally rock with pictures. Because I made the coolest pic, EVA:

Answer to My Question (Bex)

Ok, the question is: What have I never done, but always wanted to do? And who would I want there?

I have always wanted to be a part of a medical mission. I would love to go to Africa, Haiti, or some warm, distant place and help people that are seriously in need and seriously have nothing. You know the commercials with the children that are hungry, malnourished, no education, and no health care... And I don't mean stay in a hotel and visit during the day and help. I mean live with them for a month/summer or so, and be one of them; only helping them.
And maybe one day I will do that... always thought I would when I finished Nursing School... but then got married and started having children of my own... well, just not possible at this time...

Who would I want there? I know this might sound cheesy... but first choice is my husband. He makes me feel physically safe and maybe that's one of the reasons I have never tried or looked into a medical mission, something about it is scary to me. So if he were there, I would feel safe and not alone and I wouldn't worry about missing him. However, I don't think that would really be something he would enjoy... And quite possibly not an option.
Which means, the only other choice is my girlz. Each one of them has a strength and deep-rooted need to care that I think the four of us would find an experience like that amazing and wonderously rewarding. And maybe Lu and Tink have enough "strength" to make me feel safe and secure in my surroundings that we wouldn't need a "man"!!!

And I know that I need to post a question to someone... let me think...

Sometimes I actually do Love my Husband (Bex)

Ok, I know you started this question and response thing...
But I felt like I needed to post this!

I have bitched and complained often about my husband... However, I have to say, sometimes I really am lucky and he really does step up... sometimes...

The other night was one of those moments...

Lil Pooh started screaming "MOM, MOM" at the top of lungs, from the top of the stairs at 12:30a.m.; I finally woke up, went running out in my underwear to see what was wrong; and at that time the lil shit just wanted to come downstairs and sleep with us. So, being the good mom that I am (usually, I am not so friendly when woken up from a dead sleep!) I took Pooh into our room and we fell asleep...
Only at 1 a.m.ish... Lil Pooh started puking... (now, i think this is the first time Pooh has ever puked) He got puke everywhere, all over our bed sheets, pillows, the clean clothes lying next to the bed, his special animals and blanket he sleeps with...
As I got Reese into the bathroom to clean him up... My husband jumped out of bed, stripped the sheets, got new sheets and put them on the bed, got Pooh new pajamas, took all the dirty stuff to the laundry room.... All without being asked.
We worked as a team in a stinky, sticky situation!
I know to some it may seem trivial or minute; but to have un-asked for help in the middle of the night is something that a "Thank You" just doesn't seem enough. I hope he knows how much that means to me.

Homework Assignment (Zaad)

Ok, this is a good one:

I am going to ask one of you a question, then you have write your answer. When you're done, you think of a new question and pick someone else to answer. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Ok, just humor me.

I'm picking Tink:

What one characteristic do you most love about yourself AND how do you think it will be affected by becoming single after 10 years of marriage?

(I know, I made up the damn game and I've already cheated by asking a tw0-parter, but too bad, it's MY game, I'll play how I want.)

(And remember, I know where you live, so if you don't answer, I'm going to stop by your house unexpectedly with MY PARENTS, so HA!!)

(Oh! I'm having so much fun already!)

Things Keep Breaking (Zaad)

Yes, I am now writing under my pen name/official Girlz nickname, Zaad.

I wrote a lengthy blog tonight on my sister blog, Complications of a Perfect Life, so this one will be short and sweet.

Btw, did you notice how I advertised my blog as if the 5 readers of THIS blog don't already know about it? Like I'm directing our huge FAN BASE over to my blog??? Yeah, I know, retarded.

Anywho, things keep breaking:

1. This weekend, my bowling ball was most definitely broken. TM kicked my ass 3 games straight. And I'm a good bowler, so it has to be the ball.
2. THEN, my brain, and that of G-ma's and Bex was also not functioning correctly as the BOYZ beat us 2 out of 3 board games. WTF?
3. And lastly, I am pretty sure my bank account is broken (with a capital Broke) because it keeps leaking money.... it's the weirdest thing.

And yes, I'm totally and completely refusing to take responsibility for any of those things, because, well, duh.

I Hate Mornings (Bex)

I truly hate mornings...

I know some people out there wake up with this feeling of another new day, a new start, or whatever...

Me... I would rather skip to the afternoon, or evening. I feel so much better at the end of the day, when everything that needs/needed to get accomplished is done. I dread waking up and having to start over. There is so much to do in any given day and in the mornings I feel panicky that I won't get everything done, that I will forget something, etc..

And this weather doesn't help, all I want to do is crawl back in bed, let me know when the day is done and then I will be happy...

And, Am I getting old? or Am I just under to much stress? Because every morning for the last month, I wake up stiff and achy... What's up with that? I'm not that old...Am I?

Bex