Happy Birthday Bex!

Happy Birthday Bex!!!

I hope you went and got a slurpee!

Happy Birthday, Tink!

Happy Fucking 30th, Old Lady!!!!

I hope you had a good dinner!

Sorry It's been so long...

Ugh the older you get, the busier life seems to get...

Yet, If I'm not busy, I'm bored... Go figure

First, Lil Pooh turns 5 this week, on Thursday. He's my BABY. Only he's not really a baby anymore. Saturday is his birthday party and today I asked him what he wanted me to serve his friends at his party. I said, "we can do pizza, hot dog & hamburgers, a mexican buffet, anything you want Pooh! what should we have to eat?" That little shit responded with, "EGGS! we should have eggs for dipping!"

Really? I am not serving eggs for that many people. No, I am not that good of a mom.

AND when asked "what do you for your birthday present?" He said, "a real bunny, white with blue eyes."

Really? You are going to make me disappoint you twice in one day? You are not getting a real bunny. Just not going to happen.

BTW... Sha-mom and Sha-pop... You guys are invited to his Birthday Party. It is Saturday. I really hope you can come... I miss seeing you guys!!!!

Saturdays! (Lulu)

Today was a fun day indeed! I got to sleep in! I was smart and left my phone in the livingroom when I went to bed which means I didn't hear all the texts that popped through in the early morning hours! 3 of them were from this overly cheerful friend of mine who just had to inform me that she was in the process of getting a pedicure! (Just giving you a hard time Bex! I was glad to hear you so cheerful...and yeah ok hers were like at 10 so I can't really say it was early LOL!)

Then I had 2 baby showers to go to today. I love babies...especially when I can love them, spoil them, and then send them back to their moms! Mike was nice enough to let me have the kids for today which was great. Especially since the 2nd shower was for the mother of the siblings we found out Cody has!

We got to meet their family and they were so great! It was a little strange showing up at a party when you only know the host, but they were very easy going and it was a lot of fun. The kids had a blast playing baseball and jumping on the trampoline. And for once my kids got to eat someone else out of house and home. I swear they were grabbing another plate of food every time I turned around!

These are the days I live for. Great weather, fun with friends, and to be able to watch my kids laugh and play like nothing in the world matters.

I Want it All (Lulu)

The job is absolutely great! I love what I am doing and all that I am learning. I even found out that they are going to hire me from the temp agency which is completely awesome! But...

...yes there is always a but...I miss my kids!!!!

The drive is long, the hours are long, and I am still trying to get used to this whole thing called being alone. And I am not getting used to it as fast as I had thought I would.

It feels like I just get home and then its bed time for them. Then the last couple weekends they have gone and stayed with my parents. It was sooooo hard to let them go but I know it is what the kids would really like so I let them. Not to mention the fact that they only get to see my parents during the summer so how could I say no?!?! And then before I know it, it's time for them to go back to their dads (sigh....tears)

I just want to wrap them up close to me and not let them go anywhere or do anything! Yeah, I know, life doesn't work that way. They would just squirm away, roll their eyes, and give me that whole "MOOOMMM" thing.

Oh well, I know I can't have it all....but I want it!!!!!

This took some thought (Lulu)

Wow there were so many things I could think of for both questions....but if I gotta choose one for each....

What I miss the most about being a kid is the freedom from all of lifes worries. All I had to concentrate on was school work and not getting in trouble (notice I didn't say not doing anything wrong...just not getting caught and getting in trouble!). I didn't have to worry about lives other than my own. I feel like I spend so much of my time worrying about my kids and how my choices will affect them. I worry about their futures and what life is going to be like for them.

My favorite part about being an adult is being able to watch my kids grow and have fun with them. I enjoy sharing my favorite childhood rituals with them. Being able to carry on some of the family traditions that were always very special to me growing up. Seeing them smile and laugh makes all of life's trials and tribulations worth it. I can get lost in their laughter sometimes and I forget about any worries for a little while.

I Shoulda Said "No Tag-Backs" (Zaad)

but I will keep the ball rolling.

These were Bex's questions:

1. What do you miss most about being a kid? And
2. What is your favorite part about being an adult?

My answers:

1. Not much, really. I remember a whole lotta thinking "when I'm an adult...this or that..." so I don't know that I want to be a kid again. I remember feeling a lot of pressure to be perfect, all the time. When I got sober, a lot of that pressure dissipated when I realized *perfection* was impossible, all I really had to do was survive and pray to thrive.

I mean, we had a wonderful childhood. I can't complain. I guess I miss the whole *no responsibilities* thing, but then I just think "but I now I get to make all the decisions..." When I think of growing up, the thing that stands out the most, as an overall impression, is how much everyone would say "she has so much potential!" And this feeling of *potential greatness with no real direction* overcomes me.

2. So what I like best about being an adult is obviously: the freedom. The absence of *potential* and the presence of *living*. I no longer dream about what I need or want to be when I grow up (except for when I dream about being a stripper), instead I dream of what I want to do right now, or next week, or next year.

And I get to DO these things.

Also, I like to be a mom. I like to watch my kids growing up - but it does bring back some of that pressure. Only now, it's in the form of *worry*. I can blow off worrying about my back, my work, and other things in life, but as a mom, I'll never escape worrying about my kids. But this feels like a tangent...so...

Next, I tag TINK! Same questions, obviously.

And no tag-backs.

Just sayin'.