Do I Expect To Much (Lulu)

I think back to how things used to be and I wonder.......

We started out not even liking each other. We tolerated each other because of mutual friends. But we were the only smokers and we couldnt smoke inside....so we logged a lot of time just sitting on the steps talking. We got to know each other. We learned that all those things we disliked about each other were only facades. We had put up those walls to protect ourselves from the lives and situations we were living at the time. After awhile we became friends. We leaned on each other when times were tough. We laughed together when things were good. Before we knew it we had fallen in love.

So I wonder....Did I fall in love with the true person or did I have on blinders. Was I only seeing what I wanted to see?

When I think about how life is now I wonder.....

I know that people grow and change over time. Am I expecting too much to think that the things you fell in love with about a person would be the things that never changed? Shouldn't those things stay the same because its the core of the person?

If I had on blinders and have taken them off then I cant really expect that person to change. But if the core does change then don't I have the right to not like what he is becoming? How do you know what is the truth?

I long for the days when we talked. I dream about the days when nothing came before the family. Not work...not friends...not hobbies...NOTHING! I also ache for the days when we shared our souls. If he hurt...I hurt. If he was happy...I was happy. I want to go back to those steps and just sit there and freeze time. Is that expecting too much?