Ugh... Therapy (Bex)

All I can say is that sometimes in life, you are forced into "therapy"...

I am not one who enjoys telling a complete stanger all of my life, my problems, etc... Seriously makes me uncomfortable. Yet, right now I am being forced into this... I am actually waiting to leave my house to put myself through this torture...

Ugh... I mean really, people, I have therapy sessions once a week at least, with my girls, with whom I am comfortable talking to and completely honest with... as they are with me!

So, who needs this structured, stranger-induced, therapy?

UGH!!!

Master Manipulator (Zaad)

First of all, I know it's been a quiet week. Bex has been through some tough shit lately, and I know we have all been...well...pre-occupied with that stuff and haven't written much. And I will leave it up to her to decide what and when she wants to write about it.

But we need to get back to posting! Our fans (all two of them) have been deprived. So I'll start:

Well, I think I figured it out. You girlz know what I've been going through with dh, and how conflicted I've been about this whole divorce/missing him thing. But I am fairly sure I'm over it. Or, at least, how to get over it when those feelings creep back in.

I have been getting fooled. I have been falling for the same trick that used to drive me insane when I was married to dh: I miss the guy that dh ACTS like he is to everyone else. He is such an expert at acting like he is perfect that I nearly had myself convinced that he is/was.

But you know what?? HE'S NOT. He is still selfish, still obsessed with money and still only thinks about himself (and the yahoos...). He is just so damn good at ACTING like he is God's gift to this world that everyone, including me starts to believe he is.

After having dinner with him it finally dawned on me. And it took a comment to really bring me full circle at this realization. When discussing where he may move to, he actually commented that "he may just buy a house with cash, or rent, I don't know..."

BUY A HOUSE WITH CASH? You can do that?! Whatever. I mean: WHAT THE FUCK EVER. This from a guy who is *broke.* Who gives me *a third of his income* so he can't afford to do anything. Who lives RENT FREE in a house he is willingly WALKING AWAY FROM. And you can't get the boys haircuts??? Really? Really????

This frustration is strictly on the down low, though. There is no need for me to bitch about this to him, or fight about money with him. It is what it is.

I am still grateful that we can co-parent. I am still glad that we can get along. But if and when those old doubts and feelings creep back in, I'd really appreciate it if y'all could just say: Hey, Zaad, he's a cheap ass liar, remember?

Thanks, and just sayin'.

Gratitude (Bex)

What a long, exhausting week. All I can say is Thank You Girlz...
You are the best.

I can only hope that everyone has the friendship that we have!

A Nice Mothers Day (Lulu)

I have to start by saying....I love my kids....including the ones that aren't really mine but call me mom anyways!

So I woke up Sunday morning...SICK! yep thats right I was sick. Not exactly how you wanna spend mothers day. But it did turn out to be such a nice day. My kids DO love me. Not only did they pick out the best cards but they actually cleaned house and did ALL their chores without a single argument. My big gray hair never once got that teenage tone that he so often does and my little gray hair never whined once! For them thats a huge feat! They even got along and didn't argue. What more can a mother ask for on Mothers Day.

To top it all off my big gray hairs best friend had spent the night. So I get them up in the morning and tell them its time for JC to go home and that we have to start the day. As JC is walking out he actually hands me a mothers day card....AWWWWWW! Being the sentimental sap that I am I actually got teary eyed. It was such an awesome day.

Funny Story (Bex)

So Pooh, whose 4, and Itch, whose 9, are wrestling and rough-housing. Pooh gets hurt and starts crying and the Pot-Stirrer is trying to get to the bottom of what happened. When Pooh Yells, "I'M TRYING TO BE A MAN!"

To which Pot-Stirrer and I look at each other, and yes we both heard correctly... and we try to wait to laugh until Pooh walks away...

Then the boys start at again, and Pooh starts whining again, and Itch says, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO BE A MAN!!"

At which point i started laughing!

Girlz Night at Dead Fish Beach

How can you not love having Girlz Night at the beach (or as tink would say...at the waaater cuz she refuses to call it a beach)! Everyone had so much fun and my little gray hair melted my heart when she was playing and I heard her say "This was the best day ever for going to the beach!"

I do want to say to the girlz that I really did appreciate your concern when each one of you asked me if I was ok. I really was. I was just in one of those moods where your not yippee skippee happy but not sad or mad either. I was actually in a mood of deep thought. I was listening when all of you were talking but for some reason my responses to you disappeared before they made it out of my mouth. At one point I was looking around at all of the kids and I couldn't help but take in each little giggle or roaring laugh that I heard from them. Part of me was also sad that 2 of our kids weren't there to share in the fun. I missed them.

Looking at each picture just made me appreciate all of you! Can't wait to spend more nights at the beach.....and I promise to try and not be in such deep thought next time LOL!

don't ya just love Tink's new hairdo!!

Julie & Lea love to have fun!! They are such goofballs!

I actually had to make Meghan stop moving for this one!

Cody thinks he is soooo cool!

Mitchell moved to fast for me to get a face shot but he did lay down for about 2 whole seconds for this one.

Reese had more fun playing in the dirt hole

Of course Paige melted Zaad's heart when she came right up and chose to sit with her!!

Spring Cleaning (Lulu)

How is it that even though I have spent ALL day cleaning....I actually feel good!

My house has been trashed and I finally put my foot down and told the ENTIRE family that by Sunday night this whole house will be clean. I gave them all a list and then gave the gray hairs a choice.
1. Play all day Friday and Saturday but come Sunday their butts were mine and they were gonna get the list done if it killed them.
OR
2. Work a little each day then the list could be finished on Sunday

I said either way I dont care just as long as it all gets done. So the big gray hair decides to play till Sunday. Lets just say he now knows what its like to work your ass off! The little gray hair was smarter and chose to work a little each day so it wasnt so bad.

But now my house is clean (I'm talking washed walls and everything) and it feels so damn good!!! I even managed to throw away 3 outside garbage bins full! Now I get to sit and relax and enjoy the clean house...at least till tomorrow when the gray hairs and the husband mess it all up again LOL!