When Words Are Not Enough (Lulu)

Right now my life is soooooo overwhelming

• Divorce - damn I never realized there was so much paperwork involved just to get it started. Paperwork that you have to have to file but yet the courts can't give it to you cuz there is no official forms. And here I thought it would be easier without involving an attorney.
• College - Of course I just have to decide to do it when I have everything else going on. So I officially go back to school on July 29th. In a few years I will actually have my Bachelors in Accounting. Its only something I have talked about for at least 10 years.
• House hunting - Basically I am screwed on buying a place (no credit...I was stupid enough to let him put everything in his name all these years), Renting isn't much of an option cuz the payments are like double what a mortgage payment would be.
• Job Hunting - I need more than the business that Mike and I own together...gotta have some security. I haven't written a resume in like 15 years!!!!!
• Emotions - well theres no explanation needed for that one. If ya don't like the mood I am in just wait a few minutes cuz it will change.
• Kids - doing my best to keep everything sane and as normal as I can for the situation

With all of this I have come to some major realizations. I always knew that my girlz are the best but I guess I never realized just how much I could actually depend on them. How do you say thank you when that really isn't enough. I sat there at girl night and just watched them all do everything they can to help me figure out all of this. Their brains and hearts were working so fast and hard that I was left with that feeling of ....well I really cant describe it! The sacrifices they were and are willing to make....the phone calls that were made....the words of encouragement that were said.....

For the first time since all of this started I actually feel like I am going to make it. I know it wont be easy and I know I will have moments of ....OH MY GOSH! What was I thinking!? But now I also know that when I have those moments I am not alone. When I need to be reminded of who I am....they are there to do it. I don't know how to thank you....nor do I know what I did to deserve such amazing friends. You give me courage, strength and laughter and words will never be enough to express my gratitude.