Have Mercy, My Friends (Zaad)

OK so this is funny.

I walked into Amy's office this morning and she was on her cell phone with her husband. She stopped to talk to me and asked: "Did you officially accept the job offer?" [kind of excitedly, which I was all offended by, btw, 'cuz obviously aren't I so important as to at least warrant a sad face??]

• "Yee-up."


• "Oh my God, so you're officially not my employee anymore! Did you ask the Girlz about girl night??"


• *chuckling unbelievably* "Yes, I did. I already have the request for clearance submitted. I'm letting them stew, come to terms, and then decide to be nice."

NOTE that I have to give my friends WEEKS of notice to absorb the shock of maybe, possibly putting up with an OUTSIDER for any length of time. Can anyone say *clique*? [*chuckling sadly* 'cuz I know how we all are...ok, kind of funny.]

• "OMIGOD! I'm so excited -" [turns to cell phone once again] "Honey! I'm gonna have friends!"


• "oh MY God, you have to calm down! You have no idea what you're trying to get yourself into. You're not even gonna last 2 weeks -"


• "I can do it! I swear!"


• "- Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'll let you know as soon as they decide."


• [cheesy fricken grin] "Ok! I can't wait!"

It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something. Has she even HEARD me the last 2 years???? She thinks we look awesome enough to want to be WITH us? I tried to tell her before: "Dude, seriously, we'll eat you alive. We're sharks. You'll never come out alive and if you do, you'll never be the same.

And she says: "It sounds like so much fun!"

And I'm all like: "Do you even understand English, woman?"

So beware, I may be asking again on Friday. We can try and be nice to one outsider... at least for a night, right? Then she'll see how boring we actually are. But how scarily awesome we are at cards. And Bex, if this helps: think of it like a project. You looovvvve projects!

*sighing remorsefully and shutting laptop...*