My Answer...What a Year! (Zaad)

Ok, this is a tough one, because it has been quite the year. On June 7, it will have officially been one year since I was served with divorce papers, and this marks the absolute most eventful year of my life. Despite the fact that in my life, I have had many struggles (who hasn't?) including Emmo's heart and my alcoholism, this is still the year that has been the absolute most life-altering.

In deciding what I am most proud of, I had A LOT to think about, for I am proud of many things that I accomplished. My first thought was "the parent I have become" but then I decided that this was really isn't it because I sometimes feel that I still fall short. I do think that I have become stricter and more disciplined in my parenting, but since I have always loved my yahoos more than life itself, this hasn't changed all that much.

Then I thought of my house. I got myself a place to live and I did it on my own. I do have to thank Bex for forcing my head out of the sand and making me look for a house, but I am proud of this accomplishment. And the bills that I now pay - on time! But this isn't really what I am MOST proud of because, honestly, I always felt I had it in me. I was just never given the chance to be independent or make financial decisions.

Then I thought of all the small things: the shoveling, the housekeeping, the career (ok, this one ain't so small, but I will never, ever make my JOB be my life, period) and the whole staying sober thing. And again, I am thrilled with myself about these things, but....

The thing that I am MOST proud about is how I set up my life NOW: I am proud of the way I live my life and specifically, I am proud about who I surround myself with. This year, more than ever, I can say that I have successfully put myself in a position to have the absolute best support system ever. Because NONE of the things I have done this have truly been accomplished by me alone. I have the best family, and I have only gotten closer to them than ever before.

I have the best friends EVER. I know that I can call not only my GIRLZ but also a few good guy friends whenever (WHENEVER!) and for whatever reason that I want. I know that I am not alone. I know that I am supported and more importantly, that I am loved.

I have made an honest effort to evaluate who and what is important to me and have consciously tried to nurture those relationships. By far, I have made the biggest effort at seeing the Girlz and staying close to them all. Without you all, I would not have been able to do all these things. And in return, I am trying to be there for the people close to me, too. And I have made myself accountable, too, to these people. I make sure I see my friends and family every week, and I write on the days that I don't see them so they know I am OK.

THIS IS WHAT MAKES MY LIFE COMPLETE: THE PEOPLE IN IT.

Part 2
What do I think I still need to work on? My selfishness. I think this will be a life long struggle for me and I am NOT proud of that. I do try and take a step back and say *things are not always about me* but I know I could work on this FOREVER and still not be where I think I should be.

I tend to talk a lot (stop snickering) and I want to work on listening skills. I don't always have to be the center of attention. I don't always have to be the center of attention. I don't always....

If I just keep saying it, I surely will start to believe it right??

And I'm sure I've bored you enough, so I'll leave it that.

Oh, except this: the other thing I truly want to work on is NOT LETTING BEX GET SKINNIER THAN ME! Anyone have a granola bar? Anyone?

Thanks Lu, for the thought provoking question! And someone else should start the next round so we don't ask the same people questions - so one of you are up!