I Can't Breathe (Bex)

First, I want to send a huge thank you to TWM and Indigo. Your comments are truly appreciated and it's nice to "have followers"!

Indigo said it in her comment... Right now I can't breathe in my own home, I walk on eggshells, afraid when the next un-doing will happen... and then the weeks ensue to try to repair what was once fun, carefree and that I loved very much.
When the pot-stirrer and I met we had a lot of "us" time. My son, Itchy (who is 9), would visit with his dad every Wed and every other weekend. As with many things in life, things change... we had Pooh (who is now 3 1/2) [the 2 most wonderful boys in my life]... and for the first year of Pooh's life, there was the usual adjustment to another child in one's life. Then I went to law school, and yes continued to work as a nurse, and a mother and a wife, and blah, blah, blah. I thought I was super-woman. And yes, I can and do manage it all.

What i haven't figured out is how to manage my husband. For the last year things have been taking a downward spiral. I would like to think that I haven't changed that much (other than being busier)... but who knows...

During our latest explosion (last night)... Which started because me, him, Sarah, and DM were playing a new game (Quelf) and it is really silly and instead of asking him to sing a love song, I asked my sister's man to do it. Thinking it would be funny. However, according my husband, I humiliated him and disrespected him. and the fight began. He actually said to me... "you are disrespectful, totally disregard me and am not there emotionally for me". I am not disrespectful and my life revolves around making his life easier so he doesn't get upset. But you know what I may not be there emotionally anymore. I think I may be exhausted from always being the one to hold it together and right now the last thing i need to do is "pick up" someone else (and by someone else, i mean my husband, who is supposed to be there for me too; isn't that what a marriage is?). What about my needs? What about the issue that he thinks he that "he supports me" being in school; but he doesn't "support me"; in fact most days I am so wrapped up in trying not to upset him that i don't get much school/study time in.
we have a "good" life. we a beautiful house, wonderful kids, 2 working cars, we are both employed, and both in overall good health. what we lack in our "good" life is "like" for each other. And how the hell do you get that back? How do you make someone stop accusing you of being something you're not? How do you get through to someone 'all of this bullshit' is stuck in his head and not for real? so he's right. I am not there emotionally for him. his emotions are his problem right now.
i am fucking exhausted.
and i only touched on issues... my mind is rambling with thoughts and i apologize for any incoherency... hopefully i will be able dive into each issue in more depth....