Finding the Line (Lulu)

So the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough with the ex. We are back to fighting like crazy and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I really had thought that we were past so many things. But now I am having a hard time finding that line...

When is being nice and taking the bullshit the right thing to do so that there is peace for the kids and when is it necessary to fight so that he is no longer controlling me and my life?

It all started a when he needed me to drop off money and we couldn't agree on a time. He wanted me to wait till the next day because his girlfriend (whom I have not met) was going to be there...but I couldn't do it the next day. I did not see what the issue was considering we had already talked at length about his girlfriend. I told him that I was happy for him, I was glad the kids liked her, and hell he had even asked me for advice and I had given it to him. He tried to say afterwards that he was afraid I would start something...if he was really worried about that then why did he feel so comfortable talking about her with me that he had even brought up their sex life (EWWWWW!!) I do not care how O.K. I am with them dating...I DO NOT want to hear about it! It just grosses me out!!!

Ever since that night the fighting has gotten progressively worse. He is back to arguing about what school my little gray hair should be in. His reason, and only reason, for wanting to switch her back is because it will be more convenient for him. Never mind the fact that her current school has way more opportunities for her!

I am expected to run any babysitters by him first but yet I found out he is letting his new girlfriend watch the little gray hair and I havent even met her! He never ran it by me or asked me!

The final straw came on Friday when I get a text from the big gray hair saying he cant pick his sister up from the sitters cuz his dad needs him to go pick up his mother from work. Why should I have to change my schedule around for him? It was my week with the kids! I do not mind changing my schedule if it is because he has to work but that wasn't work! The ex was having him run a personal errand and expecting me to change everything without even so much as a phone call.

I know that part of my issue with it is because I have an issue with his mom. We were very close until the divorce. Some days I just wish I could show up at her house and show her the proof as to why I filed for divorce instead of just letting her believe all the crap he spewed about me...but I dont because what good would it do? Unlike my parents she never bothered to even ask me...or to try and remain civil for the kids.

UGH will I ever learn where that line is? Will there ever be balance? I do not want to fight...but I certainly dont want to let him control me any more...he has already had too many years of doing that to me.