One Hard thing to deal with... (Bex)

Ok, I'm trying so hard, so hard, to keep my mouth shut...

But I find that lately I have to keep my mouth shut more than I am allowed to speak lately. I do so, so that I do not hurt anyone's feelings. Which means I have to keep my mouth shut even in my own house. I now have nowhere to speak freely.

Last night something was said that completely got to me... And what am I supposed to really do? If I express my feelings, then someone's feelings are going to get hurt. Is it selfish to release my feelings at the risk of anothers? An internal fight I have all too often lately. Is it fair that I sit with internal turmoil so that others can go about their lives as if all is good and happy? I seriously don't know what to do...

I find myself wishing I was in a different life... But I can't tell you whose life I wish I had... Cause although I want things to be different, I do know that the grass is not always greener on the other side... Sometimes buried beneath that greener grass is something worse, like grubs!

Any advice? Keep my mouth shut? Or speak my mind?

It really sucks not being 100% comfortable anywhere...

Sorry for the tirade... next time I post it will be positive...

Wait, I will end on a positive note... I really do like my new job (lets just hope it lasts!); I do love my husband and my children (even though they are ridden with their own faults!); At this time next year I will be studying for the Bar Exam; It's February, winter is almost over; And I think tomorrow, I am going to convince my husband to let me buy a new cell phone!!!!

Have a great weekend everyone....Just pay your bills before you spend your money frivolously!!!